My experiences as a nomad has been best described my friend, Rachel Lee, of her experiences being a Nomad, which is what I'm doing as well, if you didn't know.
Rachel Lee:
I've been realizing that sometimes I let myself get discouraged by looking at other people living their "normal" lives and comparing myself to them. What these comparisons bring in result are obviously not very pleasant. As you guys know, I'm a "nomad." It's already been two months living out of the van. We sleep on hard floors a lot of times, sometimes in small dorm rooms.
Life of a nomad can't be fancy or comfortable. We're constantly on the move. After finishing a screening or spending time with our contacts, which usually goes until late at night, we have to wake up early the next morning, either to rush to a screening or because we have to leave whenever our contacts have to leave. We eat a lot of junk food and rarely get homemade food. I honestly could go on for hours if I let myself. Compared to the life I used to live back at home, even those of most people I know, this life of a nomad is very uncomfortable. The greatest thing about it, though, is that the more uncomfortable my life is becoming, the more I'm learning to embrace it.
The past few months of my life as a nomad have been more simple than ever. I've learned to be grateful for a floor to sleep on, for the food we get, even if you've had the same kind of food for the past week straight, embrace the fact that it's nearly impossible to stay fit or thin on the road (in other words, let go of any desire to work out and eat healthy), and not freak out about bugs or roachies moving around right next to me. And if you knew me well, you should be shocked right now because y'all know I used to not be like this- at all. I was the girl that got to eat anything she wanted, didn't have the guts to even kill bugs when she saw them (I would literally run out of the room and not go back in for an hour if I saw a bug), brushed her teeth 4-5 times a day and woke up early in the morning to go to the gym. This crazy nomad life is teaching and humbling me a lot. I'm learning how much time and energy I had been wasting on things that are so unnecessary. I've learned to tell myself it's OKAY to sleep on the floor in tiny dorm rooms, wash up and get ready in public restrooms.
I was at a college to speak and looking at girls in their cute outfits, fancy shoes and bags made me... a little jealous, to be honest. Once I let this comparison take over my thinking, I started to think that I looked awful next to these pretty people. I remember this one time Dan and I were at a church screening and as a girl passed by us, Dan looked at me and said, "I can't wait to go back and dress cute."
Sometimes I have to literally tell myself to think about what I'm working for. I have to tell myself that I'm doing bigger things now. I'm sowing the seeds, reminding people of God's calling to seek justice, telling the world to care about this forgotten country, and being a voice for the voiceless. In the middle of my ridiculous complaining sessions (which are usually internal) and ungrateful moments, I literally cut myself and say, "RACHEL LEE, NORTH KOREA!" Then my soul becomes silent. Hahaha. It's funny that I need to remind myself of this sometimes. I feel like it should always be following me - the reason why I've given up 5 months of my life to live on the road. Every part of a nomad's life, from the tour van to LiNK gears to unwashed clothes to heavy backpacks and sleeping bags, should be the daily reminders that I'm a nomad for North Koreans. But it's been hard last couple days. Constant prayers are necessary.
Praying with: John 8:36. "If the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed"
I want to be free from self-pity and pride! "
Thanks for that beautifully, written piece Rachel! It reminds me of my purpose and what God has called me to do as well. I needed it. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment